Madbot’s Workplace Observation – 6 – The Office Cockroach

Posted by Madbot on Aug 3, 2005 in Workplace Observation |

If you’ve ever worked in an office, you’ve met the likes of these.

Introducing – the office cockroach!


What is an office cockroach?

The office cockroach is very similar to the cockroach we see in our living environment:

– They’re sneaky
– They are usually not pleasant in appearance (some are even equipped with protection like body odor or bad personal hygiene)
– They have hard and crunchy shells to protect a squishy inside – messy once squished
– They are survivors and can survive a nuclear disaster (the equivalent of one to a company anyway, like.. downsizing)

The roaches are typically found in a dark corner of the building/organisation quietly surviving away. To the untrained eye, they appear to others as a hard worker and are exceptionally skilled at keeping the boss’ bad attention away from them.

To someone who has spotted them for what they really are, they’re nothing more than a pest. A pest which survives on doing little actual work but brag everything they have supposely achieved. They justify their existence through claiming to be an integral part of the society by cleaning up the crumbs so when the downsizing or redundancy round comes, they are safely hidden away and out of sight. But really, you know it is you who is cleaning up after the mess they’ve made.

So what can you do if you ever come across such cockroaches at work? Nothing – these creatures are the masters of survival. They will poison you with their bad smells or odd sense of living behaviour. If you are strong enough to squish them in one hit – do so immediately. If you miss or fail on your first try, the subsequent attempts will only prove to be much more difficult as they run around looking for place to hide – and even release a protection mechanism or two on you.

So if you can’t beat them, join them? If you can, sure. It’s not such a bad way to live. The pressure usually isn’t too great and you may learn to like your new brown nose. However, if you cannot bring yourself to this level then it’s time to start looking for options to get into a different department or company.

May the force be with you.


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